


touch my world with your fingertips

by castielsangel_x



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drabble Collection, Headaches & Migraines, Lazy Mornings, Lyrium Withdrawal, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Morning Sex, Prompt Fill, Reunions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:49:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26975407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielsangel_x/pseuds/castielsangel_x
Summary: A collection of drabbles between Cullen Rutherford and Dorian Pavus, ranging from friendship to romance. Tags to be updated as chapters are added.
Relationships: Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first proper dabble into the Dragon Age fandom. Please be gentle with me <3
> 
> Prompt #1. lyrium withdrawal, Dorian taking care of Cullen.

Cullen had never felt the room spin like this before. He stood from his desk and his office seemed to just dissolve around him. His hands scrambled for the edge of his desk, trying his hardest to keep himself on his feet. He’d been battling the worst headache for the majority of the day, noticeable to even the Inquisitor when they met in the war room. She’s asked after his health and he had passed it off as a minor irritation and that he felt better than he had in along time.

Liar.  _ Liar _ .

The lyrium withdrawals hit him hard now, his body craving it, the little glowing vial in front of him almost seemed to hum. He began to see two of everything, then four, then he seemed to lose his vision for a moment. His hand came up to clutch his head, almost feeling like it would explode beneath his fingers. Maybe it would and put him out of his misery. Cullen was aware of a far off voice calling his name, a tone of concern, but it was far away, so far he thought the owner of the voice would never reach him. Then he was falling, falling almost in slow motion, through the air, his vision clouding red, as red as the Templars they were hunting. Everything seemed to suddenly grind to a halt, jerking him out of his haziness as water was splashed into his face, causing his whole body to jump in fright. His eyes flew opened and he leaned up on his elbows, the softness of his bed sheets beneath his body, pillows beneath his head. He was sure he was at his desk moments ago. He felt disoriented until his eyes focused on the mage sitting on the edge of his bed, wet cloth in hand and a concerned expression on his face.

“Ah, he awakens,” Dorian said softly, reaching over to put a hand on Cullen’s shoulder. “Lie back, commander. You gave me quite a scare, you know.”

“I - I did?” Cullen asked, lying back down like Dorian instructed. Dorian folded the wet rag in his hand and laid it over Cullen’s forehead to cool him down, Cullen sighing softly at the relief the cold gave him. He was sweating, dressed in nothing but his thin linen shirt and breeches. 

“Indeed. I came to find you for our chess match and instead found you passed out on the floor. You had a headache again, yes?” he asked, nodding his own head gently when Cullen nodded. “And let me guess, you told the Inquisitor that you were fine so she wouldn’t worry about you.”

“She has enough to worry about …”

“Yes, she does, without having to add ‘commanding the Inquisition’s forces’ to her neverending list,” he said. “Please, Cullen …” The commander’s eyes met Dorian’s, who looked rather frightened for a moment. “Please, look after yourself.”

“I don’t need to ...you’re looking after me,” he said, the corner of his mouth twitching up into a small smile. 

“Well, I’m certainly not going to pass up a chance to fawn over a man as handsome as yourself, commander,” he said with a smile of his own, which widened when he saw the colour return to Cullen’s cheeks quickly. “It was no easy task to get you up that damn ladder. I had to remove our armour as you were far too heavy with it.”

“Charming,” Cullen said, closing his eyes again, hands resting on his chest as Dorian took the wet rag in hand again, dabbing gently at Cullen's exposed neck and chest, cooling him down before he wet it again and put it back on his forehead. “I feel like I’m being tempted …”

“Tempted?”

“The lyrium,” Cullen said, opening his eyes again and turning his head slightly towards Dorian. “It’s like it calls to me. I can still feel it in my veins, like its screaming for more. It - it hurts sometimes and the pain in my head is constant, even when its at its dullest. I fear I will be tempted by it but I don’t want to be that man anymore, Dorian. I cannot be that man.” Dorian stared at him for a moment before he turned himself towards Cullen a little more, one leg folded beneath him as he reached for Cullen’s hand. 

“You’re a strong man, Cullen Rutherford. You can fight this … and I will help you any way that I can,” Dorian said, Cullen feeling his heart jump in his chest. “If you’ll allow me …” He held up his other hand and wiggled his fingers gently, little wisps of magic coming from them. Cullen did nothing for a moment before he nodded once and Dorian put his fingers to Cullen’s temple and it felt like he was floating. His headache vanished almost immediately and his whole body felt ten times lighter than it did. He sighed contentedly. “That should give you some relief for a while.” Cullen met his eyes with his own sleepy ones and he smiled softly.

“Thank you, Dorian,” he said gently. Cullen pulled Dorian’s hand that was still in his down to his chest, letting it rest gently over his heart. “Thank you.” Dorian swallowed hard, lost for words at that moment, stretching his fingers out flat over the slightly quickened heartbeat beneath Cullen’s muscled chest. He watched Cullen’s hand on his for a few moments, taking in the way Cullen’s fingers curled round Dorian’s own. He sighed gently, looking back at the commander’s face to see his eyes closed, breathing gentle in sleep. He looked younger, like all his troubles had melted away as he fell further from the land of the living and into deep sleep.

“Commander?” Josephine’s voice came from down in his office. Dorian gently extracted his hand from Cullen’s grip, running his fingers through his hair for a moment before he went for the ladder, climbing down to come face to face with Josephine, who looked rather surprised to see him there. “Oh, Dorian … I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Evidently not …”

“Is Cullen …?”

“I’m afraid, Lady Ambassador, that the good Commander is indisposed at the moment,” he said. “He …” He wasn’t sure how much Josephine knew about his lyrium withdrawal. 

“He has a headache?” Dorian nodded.

“A rather bad one, it seems. I beg you not to tell the Lady Inquisitor just how bad. He needs his rest,” Dorian said. Josephine almost looked sad for a moment.

“He is very brave, doing what he is doing,” she said, moving over to his desk and putting down the papers she held in her hand. “Will you stay with him a while, just to put my mind at ease that he is alright?” Dorian smiled softly.

“Who am I to turn down a chance to watch over the most handsome member of the Inquisition, other than myself of course,” he replied. Josephine chuckled gently.

“Of course …” she said. She reached out and patted his hand gently. “Thank you, Dorian.” Then she was gone, door closing gently behind her. Dorian looked up at the level above, listening to Cullen’s soft snores, smiling gently before he moved to the Commander’s bookshelf. He plucked a book from the shelf and seated himself in Cullen’s chair, feet up on the corner of the desk. He’d be here for the commander if he needed him. No questions asked.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt #2 - Dorian admiring Cullen as he gets ready for his day - morning sex - sleepy morning.

The insistent chirping of birds above that Maker-damned hole in Cullen’s roof would be the death of Dorian, he absolutely knew it. There was a slight chill in the air but the sun was bright in the early hours of the morning as Dorian cracked open an eye, the other side of his face very unattractively pressed into the pillow that he had had his arms wrapped round. The solid press of his lover’s chest against his back, his arms over Dorian’s hip kept him warm. Cullen’s face was pressed into the back of his neck, snoring ever so softly. Dorian cast the one open eye up a little, watching the little birds on the broken beams of wood that he was surprised hadn’t fallen down and killed the commander where he slept. But all in all, it seemed sturdy enough for now. He felt Cullen move against him gently, clearing his throat before he pressed a soft kiss to Dorian’s shoulder, softly snuggling down against his back. Yes,  _ snuggling _ . Dorian found out early on that Commander Rutherford liked to snuggle.

“You’re awake early,” Cullen said against his back, his voice rough with sleep.

“Our unwelcome visitors are making a terrible racket up there,” Dorian said softly, closing his eye again and burying his face against the soft pillows. 

“Can’t say I noticed,” Cullen said, before he shifted his head a little to look up at the roof at the morning intruders. “Apart from that, did you sleep well, love?” Dorian smiled at the term of endearment.

“Like a baby, amatus …” he said. He twisted gently in Cullen’s arms, tilting his head back to catch his lover’s lips in his own in a soft kiss that made Cullen melt against him, the commander bringing his hand up to caress Dorian’s cheek ever so gently. He’d never expected to be like this with Cullen - together, happy, a mage and a Templar in love - but it happened. Dorian had been accustomed to quickies in deserted rooms and stolen kisses in the dark, never to be spoken of again in Tevinter. But Cullen, his wonderful, beautiful, kind-hearted Cullen, had proved to him that two men could be together and be happy outside of Tevinter. The people of Skyhold trusted him more, now that they realised he wasn’t the Evil Magister trying to steal the Commander’s soul from him, so no one batted an eyelid about their relationship. Dorian was relieved. He sighed happily, letting Cullen press soft kisses over his face, on his eyelids, across his forehead, before pressing one more to the tip of his nose before he rubbed his own against Dorian’s, touching his forehead to his lover’s. “You’re overly sappy for this time of the morning …” Cullen chuckled.

“You bring it out of me,” he said, kissing Dorian’s lips gently again before he buried down against him again, pulling the sheets up to their necks to keep out the chill of the morning air. Dorian sighed contentedly. Both warrior and mage were definitely ready to fall asleep again when the sound of the door opening on the lower level had Cullen groaning softly against Dorian’s back. 

“Commander?” Scout Jim’s voice said hesitantly.

“What?”

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Commander. The Inquisitor has called a meeting to the war room. She asked me to let you know she’d like to see you …” his messenger said from the bottom of the ladder. Cullen held Dorian tightly for a moment before he sighed and slowly extracted himself from the embrace.

“Let her know I’ll be there as soon as I can be …” he said.

“Yes, Commander,” he replied and the door closed behind him.

“Well, there goes the morning sex I had planned,” Dorian said, voice slightly muffled by the pillow. Cullen snorted a laugh before he sat up, sliding his legs out of bed and placing his feet flat on the cold wooden floor. Goosebumps appeared on his skin, his whole body reacting to the chill. He felt Dorian turn over behind him before his lover’s hand was sliding across the expanse of his muscled back. “The Inquisitor really is a nuisance at times …” Cullen looked over his shoulder with a smirk, Dorian smiling fondly at his love. He leaned over again and pressed a kiss to the mage’s lips before he finally stood from the bed, the sheets falling to reveal his nakedness to Dorian’s eyes. He picked up the jug of water from beside his empty wash basin before he held it out to Dorian.

“Would you be so kind?” he asked with a smile, Dorian pressing a hand to the side of the jug and using his magic to heat the water, steam rising from the top. “Thank you, my love.” He poured it into the basin before he grabbed for his wash kit, gathering water in his hands and splashing it over his face and hair. Dorian watched him, wrapping his arms around Cullen’s pillow, sheets up to his neck, watching as the droplets of water trickled down his well defined chest, catching on his nipple, making Dorian’s mouth water, longing to lick it off. Cullen was concentrating on his task, not noticing Dorian watching his every movement. He threw more water onto his hair, running his fingers through it. Dorian’s eyes went to his well muscled legs, to his deliciously well sculpted arse that was just begging Dorian to sink his teeth into it and leave his mark. Dorian slid his hand down to where his cock was very interested in what he could see, wrapping a hand round himself. Cullen’s own cock was right there for Dorian to feast his eyes on, generously sized and all his for the taking. He was a lucky, lucky man. 

“Maker, you’re gorgeous …” Dorian said aloud, making Cullen smirk as he was applying his soap to his face in preparation for a shave. Dorian definitely liked him with stubble so Cullen would only take off a little when he shaved. He cast his eyes over to his lover, lying there in their bed, catching the movement of his hand beneath the sheets, stroking his cock. Cullen groaned at the sight.

“Why do you do this to me when I have to leave soon?” he whined. 

“It’s fine, amatus … you just stand there, I’ll admire you like magnificent creature you are and I’ll come all over myself like a horny teenager,” Dorian said, causing Cullen to groan again. “You can make it up to me later.” Cullen prepped himself to start shaving but he couldn’t concentrate, not when he could hear the drag of Dorian’s fist against the sheets with every stroke, his breath coming that little bit faster than before. He put down the razor and he splashed his face with water to rid himself of the soap, towelling his face dry before he stalked over to the bed, throwing the sheets off Dorian quickly, who yelped at the cold air hitting his body before he was being kissed so thoroughly, Cullen climbing on top of him and draping himself over his body, that he was sure he would perish from the lack of air. 

“You know I cannot resist you, Dorian,” he said when he finally pulled back from the kiss, Dorian panting against his lips as he pushed his hips up against Cullen’s, the Commander’s cock finally very interested in what was going on. 

“I’m sure our lovely Inquisitor will understand …” Dorian said between kisses, wrapping a leg around the back of his lover’s thighs, pulling him as close as he could. “After all, how many times has the Iron Bull made her fashionably late?” Cullen laughed out loud.

“Maker, too many times …” he said before he was rolled onto his back, Dorian sitting astride Cullen. A quick spark of magic has Dorian’s hand slick and wrapped around Cullen’s cock, bringing him to full hardness. “What about …”

“Oh, I’m more than ready, amatus,” Dorian said with a sultry smirk and a wave of his hand before he slid down onto Cullen’s cock. The ease of the slide and his feel of Dorian around him made Cullen groan deeply, his head falling back into the pillow, eyes squeezed closed, biting his lip almost painfully. Dorian watched his lover, running his hands over his chest, fingers catching in the ridges of his muscles and old battle scars. Cullen took hold of Dorian’s hips, letting Dorian rest his hands on his forearms as he began to rock in the ex-Templar’s lap, drawing the most sinful of sounds from the Commander’s mouth. “You’re so beautiful, Cullen … a god among men, all mine.”

“Yours … always,” Cullen moaned, his large hands grabbing at the smooth skin that was Dorian’s arse, digging his fingers into the flesh to guide his movements on his lap, Dorian’s head falling back, hands moving from his arms to his thighs as he leaned back, giving Cullen a good view of his own cock moving in and out of his lover’s body. The room felt warmer, despite the bloody ceiling hole, their bodies shining with sweat as they moved together. Cullen quickly sat up, wrapping his arms around his lover and letting Dorian hold him close, both men’s moans mingling together before they shared sloppy kisses, noses bumping, teeth biting, Dorian sinking his teeth into Cullen’s neck to mark the Commander as his own, knowing it would be seen just above his uniform. “Dorian …”

“Fuck me, Cullen ... “ Dorian whispered and before he even had time to blink, he was on his back, Cullen between his legs before they were hoisted onto his shoulder, almost bending the altus in half as he began to pound hard into the mage. Dorian cried out loudly, the birds that were occupying the hole in the roof fleeing at the sound in fright, reaching back to grip the headboard with blunt nails. “ _ Harder _ , Commander …” Cullen groaned at the title, Dorian knowing he liked being called such in bed. The slap of damp skin against damp skin resonated through the room, Cullen grunting every time his hips met Dorian’s. His arms around Dorian’s thighs gripped tight as Dorian’s muscles clenched around his cock, driving him absolutely insane. Dorian was dishevelled and sweaty under him, looked absolutely delectable in the morning light. Cullen let go of Dorian’s thighs, letting his legs down from his shoulders to hold them as wide open as he could, pressing down on his knees as Dorian took his weeping cock in hand, stroking himself in time with Cullen’s punishing thrusts. Maker, he would be sore all day and the thought drove him crazy. 

“Dorian … I …” Cullen started, cut off when his whole body began to spasm lightly, his muscles moving under his skin so beautifully that Dorian wanted to lick him all over. His cock pulsed dangerously inside his lover, ready to let go when Dorian suddenly clenched hard around him and Cullen was gone. His body stilled, gripping the sheets at either side of Dorian’s body, roaring out loud as he emptied himself inside Dorian, moving again in a few shallow thrusts until he was trembling. The mage panted underneath him as he fisted his cock, but Cullen quickly reached between them and stopped Dorian’s hand moving. 

“Cullen!” he exclaimed, his face and chest flushed darker as he got closer to the edge. Cullen pulled himself from his lover, Dorian groaning softly at the feeling. He kissed down Dorian’s chest, taking his cock in hand and sealing his lips over the head of his cock, Dorian bucking his hips up against Cullen’s face at the heat of his mouth. “Cullen, you’re a bad man.” The commander hummed around his cock, the vibrations sending him mad. A few strokes with Cullen’s hand across his balls and the base of his cock, paired with him sucking on the head had Dorian’s vision going white as he came down Cullen’s throat, hard. He felt like it would never stop as Cullen kept sucking, swallowing him down until he lay, a boneless mess, spent on the mattress. Cullen pulled his head away, looking up at his lover, who had an arm thrown over his eyes, his chest heaving.

“You okay?”

“I’ve died, amatus. I’m speaking to you from the great unknown somewhere,” he said breathlessly and Cullen laughed before he leaned over his lover, moving his arm from his face and pressed a kiss to his lips, Dorian’s arm going round his neck, his other hand cupping his cheek, getting so lost in each other that they didn’t hear the door opening down below again.

“Cullen Stanton Rutherford, will you get off the mage and come to the war room,” Cassandra called loudly, making both men jump. 

“I’m coming,” Cullen called out.

“And if you’d been here five minutes earlier, that statement would have been the truth, lady Seeker,” Dorian called down as Cullen blushed furiously. Cassandra made a noise as if she’d choked before the door was slammed closed behind her. Cullen buried his face against Dorian’s neck, kissing the skin there softly.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Tell me something I don’t know, commander.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt #3 - reunited after a long period of time.

The decision to take the journey to the Tevinter Imperium had been a hard one in itself, one that Cullen had not taken lightly. The Inquisition had disbanded, everyone going their separate ways with the knowledge that if they ever needed each other, they would know where to look. Cullen went back to Honnleath, to his old family home. He sat inside the old rickety building, just remembering what his life was like before the Templars, before the Inquisition. He laid some flowers for his parents at the serene little lake he used to visit for peace and quiet before he headed to see his siblings.

Mia was outside feeding the goats in their pen at her little family home in South Reach when she heard hoofbeats on the ground, looking down the path to see her brother there. She dropped her bucket, her hand coming up over her mouth to stifle a cry, tears in her eyes before ran to him, calling his name and all but hauling him off his horse, ending with the two of them in a tight embrace on the grass while Cullen’s horse nosed gently at them, wondering what was going on as Mia cried into his cold breastplate.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Mia said, holding her brother close. They embraced for a long while on the ground before they got to their feet and Mia began pounding her fists against Cullen’s breastplate, her tears spilling down her cheeks. “You idiot! You ridiculous, ridiculous man! You could have been dead for all I knew. You were meant to write!” Cullen managed to grab her wrists in his hands to stop her hitting him, pulling her close again and kissing her hair gently. “You never were good at writing to me …”

“I know, Mia. I am so sorry,” he whispered into her hair. “Maker forgive me, I’m so sorry.” She cried into his armour some more before she took his hand and pulled him towards the house. They chatted and Mia fed him enough that he was sure he would burst. He sat with the family, snuggling in with his niece and nephew, Callie and Hadyn , who warmed to him very quickly despite his long absence, until he felt it in his bones that he had to leave. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted to watch his niece and nephew grow up, wanted to be with his family, wanted to see Branson and Rosalie again but his heart would not allow it.

“Where will you go, Cullen? You only just got here,” Mia said once her husband, Tomas, had taken the children to bed. “Stay with us for a while.” The tears shone in her eyes again and it broke Cullen’s heart.

“I can’t, Mia. There ... there is someone waiting for me,” he said and Mia’s eyes widened; a large smile on her face.

“Oh, Cullen, why didn’t you tell me?” she asked. “Where is this lady friend of yours?” Cullen lowered his eyes from hers. “Cullen?”

“ _ He ...  _ is a mage ... from Tevinter,” he said. He didn’t look at her, he didn’t want to see the disappointment there after he had spent his whole Templar life hating the very ground mages walked on. He looked up at her quickly, noting the shock on her face. He sighed and sat back in his chair, running a hand over his face, just as Mia’s hand came down on his other one, wrapping her fingers around his. He met her eyes again; they were sad but she was smiling softly. “I know I have no right … he deserves better than I. The way I treated mages … but he accepts me. He loves me … and I him.” Mia’s smile got that little bit warmer, just as his cheeks did.

“You deserve love, Cullen. Don’t ever say you don’t,” Mia scolded gently. “As for this Tevinter mage, I should very much like to meet the man who has stolen my brother’s heart. What is his name?” Cullen turned his hand under Mia’s, holding tightly, his own soft smile appearing on his lips.

“Dorian. His name is Dorian.”

Cullen and Mia spoke well into the night. All about the Inquisition, Dorian, the Templars, Dorian, Kirkwall, Dorian, lyrium, Dorian, everything he could tell her that would have been impossible to fit into a letter, had he remembered to write back. Most of the time Mia just listened, letting him get everything off his chest and hold her hand. His shoulders seemed to lose their tension, the more he spoke, as if he had been carrying the weight off the world as well as his heavy armour upon his shoulders. They’d shared wine, joked, cried before Mia dozed against his shoulder in the chair in front of the fireplace, just happy to have her brother back. Cullen watched the flames dance in the hearth, thinking about Dorian, how surprised he would be to see him. Their letters had become less frequent, but Cullen knew Dorian was busy. He corresponded with Maevaris when Dorian had been at his busiest, the mage letting him know that she was taking care of Dorian. That had helped him rest a little easier. In his last letter, he had told Maevaris of his plans but begged her not to tell Dorian he was coming. She had agreed. He patted Mia’s hand, his sister yawning before he helped her up to bed, Tomas taking her in his arms and into their room before he went back to the chair by the fire, dozing lightly through the night until he was shaken awake by the children, Mia in the kitchen, scolding them softly for waking him. Cullen waved it off, settling down to some breakfast with them before helping with morning chores. 

“Do you have to go today?” Mia asked as they cleaned out the horse stalls together, like they did when they were children. Cullen sighed.

“My heart hurts without him,” Cullen said, his cheeks going pink at the syrupy words but Mia smiled. “If he isn’t too busy, I could persuade him to take a break and we can visit. I would love for you both to meet.”

“I would love nothing more,” Mia said. They finished up the chores and Cullen bathed the best he could with lukewarm water and a bar of soap. Once he was satisfied he was clean, Tomas saddled up his horse as Mia helped him fasten his armour. He hugged everyone, kissing the children and holding them close, willing himself not to cry, Mia slipping food wrapped in a cloth into his saddlebags before she crushed him to her in an embrace. “Please  _ write _ to me, Cullen. I have no idea when I’ll see you next.” 

“I promise I will. I have no Inquisition business to stop me writing to you this time,” he said. He got on his horse and looked down at his little family, the lump in his throat painful at the thought of leaving them so soon.

“You’ll come back soon, Uncle Cullen, won’t you?” Callie asked, hugged her little stuffed nug close to her chest. 

“I promise, my darling. I’ll be back when I can,” he said.

“Do bring your lovely mage to visit if you can,” Mia reminded him. He smiled and leaned down to give her one last kiss on the cheek. 

“I promise.”

\------------

Minrathous was bustling with well-dressed mages and busy market stalls, more gossip floating around than in the Winter Palace. Cullen felt so uncomfortable as he guided his horse through the streets on foot, the poor creature agitated at the amount of people in the way. Many pairs of eyes were on him, taking in his appearance, Cullen’s stomach churning uncomfortably under their scrutiny. Cullen had asked for directions, looking for Magister Pavus’ home, which brought him to the front of an elaborate building with large gates. He pushed the gates open and young elf came running.

“Can I help you, ser?” 

“I’m here to see Maevaris Tilani? I was told I could find her here,” he said and the young elf nodded.

“Yes ser, she’s inside. Can I take your horse for you?” Cullen watched him for a moment before he gave up the reins to him. 

“Are you a slave here?” Cullen asked, cursing himself the moment it was out his mouth. The young elf smirked lightly.

“I was. Magister Pavus kept me as a slave, but when Master Dorian came back, he freed us. Some of us decided to stay with him. He pays us. We’re here of our own free will now,” he said. Cullen smiled. That was the Dorian he knew. Cullen pulled out a pouch and fished around for a few coins, dropping them into the boys hand. 

“I’ll give you a few more if you make sure that horse is well cared for. She’s been with me a long time,” he said and the elf smiled brightly, a sight that made Cullen happy. He removed his belongings from the saddle.

“Yes ser, of course. You have my word,” he said, clicking his tongue to get the horse to follow, which she did. Cullen moved towards the house, hammering his fist against the huge doors and waited for an answer. He was so nervous. He and Dorian hadn’t seen each other since the Exalted Council, which were simply fleeting glances across the courtyard or rushed goodbye kisses before he had to come home. Cullen had stayed as long as possible at Skyhold, making sure everyone who was leaving had somewhere to go and had everything they needed. He’d done one last full walk of the battlements before he had said goodbye to the place they had called home for the best part of three years and made his way to north to Minrathous. Now he was here and he felt like he could throw up. The door suddenly opened and a young female elf stood there.

“Ser?”

“Hello … I’m looking for Magister Tilani,” he said. The elf stood back and opened the door wider, letting him enter. He looked around the large entrance hall, beautifully carved marble, thick drapes on the windows, chandeliers on the ceiling. He knew Halward Pavus was a rich man, but not how rich. The door closed behind him and the elf excused herself, stating she would return momentarily. Cullen paced the hallway slowly, aware that he smelled like horse and sweat and could do with a bath, but that would be later. 

“Can I help you?” Cullen turned to the source of the voice to see a woman there, her blonde shoulder length hair curled lightly at her temples and tucked gently behind on ear, silk robes that left her shoulders bare, feathers and fur around the plunging neckline and fingers adorned with rings. He hadn’t even opened his mouth when her hands came up to her face as she gasped, squealing with delight. “Commander Rutherford? Cullen?” He bowed gently.

“Maevaris Tilani, I presume?” he said with a smile. “It’s lovely to finally put a face to the name, and to the beautiful penmanship.” She threw her head back and laughed.

“Those letters? Those were hastily written just in case Dorian saw, my good man, but you are just as charming as Dorian said, and just as handsome,” she said, Cullen’s cheeks going pink, causing her to giggle. “And he did mention how precious you were when you blushed.” She was suddenly in his space, hugging him closely. “I am so happy to see you. Dorian will be thrilled. I wasn’t sure when you were going to make an appearance, if at all.” Cullen pulled back from the hug.

“I had a duty to make sure the Inquisition was disbanded fully, and had to visit my family before I made the journey. You didn’t tell him there was a possibility …”

“Maker, no. The letters we exchanged stayed between us unless stated,” she said. Cullen smiled. “Dorian is still at the Magisterium, will be until sundown. I expect you’d like to get cleaned up. You’ve had a long journey.” Cullen nodded, just as his stomach rumbled too. Maevaris laughed. “I shall have something whipped up for you shortly too. I’ll show you to the guest room, just for the moment. We don’t want to ruin Dorian’s surprise.”

“Thank you, you’re very kind.” Maevaris smiled.

“Anything for the one who makes Dorian smile again,” she said and gestured for him to follow her up the large staircase. His eyes took in everything he could as he walked through the manor. She showed him to a room with an adjoining bathroom so he could clean up. Maevaris cast a quick spell and the tub was full of steamy, sweet smelling water. “Come have dinner with me once you’re bathed and we can get acquainted properly before Dorian gets home.”

“I would like that, Magister Tilani …” but she was waving her hand and shaking her head gently.

“Now, now, now … none of that. We’re all friends here. Call me Mae,” she said. “Enjoy your bath.” He nodded and she left him, closing the door behind him. He put his belongings on the bed and stripped himself from his armour. He would need to purchase some new clothes as he only managed the bare minimum he could carry. He undressed the rest of the way and slipped into the water, sighing gently at the heat against his sore and tired muscles. He took his time to relax, wondering what Dorian would say when he saw him. What would he look like now? Would he have changed much? Would he still love him as much, now that he had other things to focus on? That one thought had Cullen’s chest constricting painfully but he tried to push it away. He washed his body and hair, various lotions and potions sitting along the edge of the marble bathtub, feeling the most relaxed and the cleanest he had felt in weeks. Once he was satisfied he was clean enough, he stepped out the bath, a luxurious fluffy towel there to wrap around his waist. He dried quickly and dressed in clean breeches and a loose linen shirt before he went down to the dining room to join Maevaris for dinner. She was a joy. It was no wonder Dorian had praised her so much back in the Inquisition. He’d not laughed so much in weeks. He took a drink of his wine and looked across the table at Maevaris, who was studying him carefully, swirling the wine in her own glass before she took a sip.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, suddenly feeling warm under her gaze. She sat back in her chair, crossing one leg over the other.

“Dorian used to write to me, tell me how much he adored you and I wondered how someone, more so an ex-Templar, someone who despised mages, could come to be the best thing that ever happened to him. Sitting here with you now, I thought it would be awkward, but I feel you are most definitely the best thing that has ever happened to him,” she said and Cullen blushed furiously, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. 

“I’m … I’m not proud of my past. But Dorian helped me through my lyrium withdrawals. He was there on my worst days, days that I threatened him, days that I had nightmares. I … I woke up in the middle of a nightmare one night, my hand around Dorian’s throat … I couldn’t sleep in the same bed as him for a month after. The nightmares took hold of me … tried to entice me back to lyrium but I wanted to fight it, for his sake and for my own. I told him to leave, get as far away from me as he could but he wouldn’t budge,” he said. “I love him, Mae. I really do. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” Maevaris smiled warmly.

“I know …” 

Cullen retired back to the guest room after dinner, flopping down on the bed with a book, but he didn’t manage through the first chapter before he was dozing, the journey having taken its toll on him. It wasn’t until a soft hand on his shoulder shook him awake, the smiling face of Maevaris there in front of him, kneeling down to his level.

“He’s home …” she said simply and Cullen’s heart began to race in his chest. He sat up, running a hand through his curls, which he hadn’t tamed properly after his bath. He stood and straightened his shirt a little, Maevaris fixing his collar as he tucked some of his shirt into his breeches. “He’s in his room, two doors down.” He took a deep breath, Maevaris taking his cheeks in her hands, smiling softly. “Go get him.” Cullen smiled before he left the room, Maevaris pointing to a double door at the end of the hallway before she departed the other way. He made his way towards it, his heart hammering against his ribcage before he was standing in front of it. He raised his hand and took a deep breath before he knocked twice.

“Come in.” Cullen closed his eyes at the sound of his lover’s voice, though he sounded tired. He took hold of the handle and pushed open the door. His eyes caught the broad expanse of Dorian’s clothed back, though his outer robe had been shed and his arms were bare, a gold armband coiled like a snake with red gemstones for eyes around his bicep. His hair had gotten a little longer but he still kept one side shaved short. He closed the door behind him. Dorian waved a hand towards the other side of the room. “Just put the tray on the table … I’ll eat later.”

“That’s usually my line …” Cullen said softly, watching as Dorian’s whole body went still, lifting his head from the paper he was reading and he turned slowly to face Cullen. Their eyes met and Cullen was sure his chest cavity was going to explode at the rate his heart was beating. Maker, he was beautiful. His eyes were tired but they were still shining; his skin almost seemed to glow and his ridiculous moustache was still styled to perfection, with a little added stubble on his chin which Cullen liked a lot. He smiled softly at Dorian, who looked so shocked to see him standing there, his mouth moving as if he wanted to start speaking but he couldn’t find the words. He felt his breath come quicker as he watched his love, both of them standing rooted to the spot as they watched one another.

“Cullen …” Dorian finally said. “You’re … you’re here.” Cullen nodded gently.

“I’m here …” he replied and Dorian was suddenly moving towards him, reaching out to grip his forearms, the touch causing him to let out what could only be described as a sob, as his hands traced Cullen’s arms, his shoulders, his neck, until his ring clad fingers cupped his face, thumbs rubbing across his cheeks.

“You’re here,” Dorian said again. “I’m not dreaming.”

“No, love, you’re not dreaming …” Cullen replied before he leaned in, pressing his forehead to Dorian’s, a tear falling down the magister’s cheek. “I’m here to stay with you, if you’ll have me. I don’t want to impose longer than is necessary if you are otherwise engaged elsewhere …” Dorian’s lips against his cut him off, Cullen melting into the kiss, his arms wrapping round the mage tightly so they were pressed together, Cullen’s fingers running through Dorian’s longer hair before he pulled back.

“Please stay, amatus … I want you to stay,” Dorian said, making Cullen smile gently. Dorian laughed gently through the tears he didn’t realise were falling until he brought his hand up to wipe them away. Cullen helped him, thumbs wiping his cheeks clean before he took him in his arms in a strong embrace, holding him close. Maker, he had missed those arms around him. “I cannot believe you’re here … when did you arrive?” 

“Early this afternoon. Maevaris has been taking good care of me while you were gone. We exchanged letters, she and I. She was the one who encouraged me to come here,” he said, pulling back from the embrace and leading Dorian over to sit down on the edge of the bed. Dorian chuckled.

“She would. She’s never stopped asking about you since I admitted to her I loved you,” Dorian said, holding Cullen’s hand gently in his lap, thumb brushing Cullen’s knuckles. 

“You still …? Your feelings haven’t changed? We have been apart for a long time, Dorian, and I understand if …” he said but Dorian’s finger against his lips stopped him. 

“I do, amatus. I love you more now than I did when we last saw each other. I’ve missed you so much, my heart,” he said. Cullen leaned in slowly, pressing another soft kiss to Dorian’s lips, both men lazily kissing as hands roamed over broad shoulders, down arms, clasping hands, holding each other tight. Dorian pressed soft kisses down Cullen’s neck, sliding his fingers under the loose neckline of Cullen’s shirt. He could smell the oils and lotions from the bath clinging to Cullen’s skin, intoxicating him, drawing him closer until Cullen was on his back on the bed, Dorian draped over him.

“Show me how much you’ve missed me …” Cullen said softly.

“Gladly, Commander.”

\----------

“I still can’t believe you’re here …” Dorian said, lying across his lover’s bare chest, both men sated and sleepy, resting his chin on his arm as his other hand drew gentle patterns on Cullen’s collarbone, tracing gently up his neck and back down again. Cullen sighed softly at the touch, his eyes closed, his own fingers ghosting over the skin on Dorian’s bare back. He opened his eyes, tilting his head gently to look at his lover, raising his hand to run through his hair. 

“I’m so happy to see you again, Dorian,” he said, sleepiness in his voice.

“I trust your journey wasn’t too dire,” the mage said with a smile.

“I stopped in to see my family in South Reach before I made the journey here,” he said and Dorian chuckled.

“Oh, the coin I would have paid to see Mia tear into you for not writing,” he replied, pressing a few kisses to Cullen’s chest. 

“If I didn’t have my armour on, she would have definitely have bruised me, that’s for certain. They, erm … they want me to bring you to visit, only if I can. I wouldn’t pull you away from your duties just so my siblings can satisfy their curiosity,” he said, Dorian smiling gently.

“You told them about me?” he asked and Cullen frowned every so gently, but it was there.

“Of course. I’m not ashamed that I’m in love with a mage. I thought there might be some choice words said, due to my past, but Mia was happy and is dying to meet you,” he said before yawning, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’m sorry, love. It’s been a long journey.”

“I’d love to meet your family, Cullen,” Dorian replied, shifting down next to Cullen, both men facing each other, Cullen sliding his arm over Dorian, pulling him flush against him, noses brushing gently. “I still have some changes to make here. The Magisterium needs me right now, but we shall go as soon as we are able. Maybe we can run away from here, find somewhere quiet, quaint, somewhere we’d be able to just been Dorian and Cullen, not magisters or commanders. We could get one of those slobbering things you love so much.” Cullen laughed, a rich, beautiful sound from the very depths of his being.

“I’m sorry? Quiet? Quaint? Has my Fereldan-ness rubbed off on you that bad that you actually  _ want _ to get a  _ dog _ with me?” he asked through his laughter. Dorian shoved him playfully.

“Oh hush, you oaf of a man,” he said , smiling too before it faded. “I just want to be with you … somewhere that’s not here. In Minrathous, you’d be ‘Magister Pavus’ dirty little secret’. That’s not what this is … I love you, but to be free to love you, I’d want to be with you elsewhere. Do you understand?” Cullen lifted his hand and he trailed his fingers down Dorian’s cheek.

“I understand, love. I’ll be here for you while you do what you need to do … I can help any way you need me,” he said. “Stress relief included.” He winked before he kissed Dorian lightly.

“You wicked man, you’re going to be the death of me …” Dorian whispered against his lips, rolling him onto his back and straddling his lap, running his fingers down Cullen’s chest. The commander pressed his hands on top of Dorian’s, curling his fingers around the mage’s.

“Marry me?” Dorian’s face was almost comical, despite the serious situation.

“What?”

“Marry me,” Cullen repeated, squeezing his fingers gently, lifting one hand to his lips to press a kiss there. Dorian swallowed hard and Cullen panicked for a moment, thinking he’d ruin things.

“Yes, I’ll marry you,” Dorian said suddenly. Cullen went to speak, but Dorian’s finger touched gently to his lips. “But not here … when we leave here, I shall happily be your husband.” 

“I’m sure I can wait for you, my love,” Cullen said, pulling Dorian down to kiss him, an arm snaking around his shoulders, pulling him down onto the plush mattress, rolling him onto his back and settling between his legs, Dorian’s leg wrapping around one of his own. Cullen had never been so happy. They were reunited, they would eventually marry. Nothing could take away their happiness. 


End file.
